He’s Not Dead Yet

“You’re lucky,” several of my friends have told me.  “If anything happens to my husband, I wouldn’t date.  I’d enjoy being by myself.”

I’m willing to bet the husbands’ bodies wouldn’t even be cold and these ladies would be posting their photos on a dating site.  Being alone sounds peaceful, and it is.  It also means Saturday nights spent pulling packrats out of pumps and walking into parties by yourself.

“I know I’m going to be a widow,” Kim says.  “My husband is 16 years older than me and he uses a walker.”

I am sitting in a tent with three other ladies at a dog agility meet.  It is a lovely Tucson fall day and we are enjoying talking and cheering on the dogs when we aren’t competing.   

 “So, I want to know,” Kim continues, “What dating sites do you use?  I’ve got to start thinking about that stuff.”

This brings an immediate halt to the tent conversation.  We turn toward Kim, whose husband still valiantly manages to remain above ground.

“Is he sick?” Barb asks.

“No,” Kim replies.  “What about dating services?”

Barb and Ginny, whose husbands are both still firmly above ground, turn away. 

“Well,” I say.  “I did use a service called Just For Lunch.  I’m pretty sure one of the guys they sent me murdered his first wife and possibly the second so I cannot wholeheartedly recommend them.”

Luckily, it’s time for us to compete and we gather our dogs.  I wonder if we should warn Kim’s husband about his impending demise. 

Later, back in the tent, other ladies stop by.  One says that her husband asks about dinner as soon as he arises in the morning.  Another complains that since her husband retired, he decided he should micromanage her daily activities.  Still others lament husbands who watch too much TV or husbands who develop chronic illnesses and need full-time care.

No one, it seems, has good news about above-ground husbands.

Perhaps, I decide, maybe I am the lucky one.