Merrily Down the Stream

Son of a biscuit!  The cable is out again!  The nice young cable guy was out just last week to fix it and now the stupid TV tells me there’s no connection.

I always tell people I don’t watch much TV.  I am a writer so I am above such mundane pursuits.  But I get jumpy as soon as the screen goes blank.

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My eye starts twitching at the thought of missing the next episode of House of the Dragon.  How will I know how to plan my day if I don’t watch the local weather?  What will Simon Cowell think of that wacky magician on America’s Got Talent?

Once more unto the breach . . .  I dial Xfinity.  Last week it took two hours on the phone to convince them I needed a technician.  This time, it only takes me a half an hour.  And I didn’t even cry this time.

My son and grandson are here when the technician arrives.  The cable guy is a nice young man and immediately begins poking around the electrical innards of my house.  My grandson follows him around showing him all his Legos.

“I’m sorry to tell you this,” the cable guy says as my son and I clear the lunch dishes.  “There’s not much I can do.”

I step back.  It can’t be fixed?!  But I need to see the next episode of Lord of the Rings.  The TV, I am discovering, is my precious.

The wiring is too old, he tells me.  Like me, I think.

He talks about ingress and wiring along the roof.  I feel like he’s speaking German, but my son nods.

My son talks of streaming and they speak more German about connectors and boxes and Rokus.

The cable guy stops and looks at me.  “I don’t think you’d like streaming.  A lot of customers try it and go back to cable.” 

I don’t know if I will like it because I don’t even know what it is.

The young man excuses himself and I’m left to ponder wires and boxes and my apparent addiction to television.

“Did he say I wouldn’t like streaming because he works for the cable company?” I ask my son.

My son takes a breath.  “He said you wouldn’t like it because, you know . . .”

I look at my son who patiently waits for the synapses to click.

“Because I’m old!”

My son nods and pats my shoulder.

I may not know right now what streaming is, but I’m sure as heck going to figure it out.  And, I’m going to like it.