Polar Express

I took a train to the North Pole this weekend.

I do not recommend it for the faint of heart.

There was crying, there was screaming—and that was just the adults.

“We do not have to get on that train!” one father threatened a rambunctious eight-year-old. I think someone just got placed on the naughty list and it wasn’t the girl jumping on the hotel lobby furniture.

I admit I channeled a bit of the Grinch when I discovered I was supposed to board the train in pajamas that matched my son’s family. Nana does not dress to blend in.

I opted for Kate Spade PJs with a leopard print robe and sparkly Ugg slippers. I didn’t exactly look fabulous but I could hold my head high.

When the Polar Express pulled into the Williams, Arizona station, the platform looked like the last train had arrived to evacuate a war zone. Adults dragged their children to the designated car, desperate to get to their assigned seats.

“Where the hell is Car D?!” one parent yelled as her son stopped to look at the lights. The boy was lifted off his feet as his mom swept him up in her arms, dashing for the D train.

“Where the hell were you?!” My son and his wife lost me in the crowd. I’m smaller than some of the kids on the train. Plus, I was holding the tickets so they couldn’t board.

We finally plopped down on our seats. Parents, grandparents, and small children clogged the aisles and assailed my ears. Once more, I thought of the Grinch when Dr. Seuss says, “That’s one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!”

I kept a smile plastered on my face the entire time. By heavens, I was going to be the fun Nana! The baby cuddled on my lap as he passed gas that could have killed a horse. The toddler climbed up and over me in his cowboy boots.

The train pulled away and we drank hot chocolate and ate cookies. We sang carols. Children told the chef what they most wanted for Christmas.

And then, we were at the North Pole and Santa waved at us from his sleigh. Later, he boarded the train and gave each of us a bell from the reindeer’s harness.

It was magical. I felt the Grinch slip away, replaced by a fun-loving Who.

Besides, I’m more their size, anyway.

© Susan Luzader 2021